Now, There's Christmas!

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness."                                 ~Bob Hope~

I love my sister.  She lives simply and views the world around her as a place to seek out small joys and wonder.  She doesn’t celebrate a big Chrismas, ever.  Sometimes she doesn’t even put up a tree.  Gifts are difficult to buy and give, so she looks all December long for the Spirit of Chistmas in action. 

Sometimes my sister will see someone in a store reaching up to a top shelf, unable to grasp the object of their eyes.  She’ll witness another come along and ever so able, pick up that can and hand it down to her.  Now, there’s Christmas, she’ll say. 

Sometimes she will unexpectantly spot a bird in a tree, singing a lovely melody.   She’ll stop and say, Now, There’s Christmas.  Sometimes, she’ll see a mother out in the snow making a snowman with her toddler.  She’ll stop and say, Now there’s Christmas.  Occasionally, she'll watch someone smile and say Merry Christmas, and it warms her heart like nothing else.  She loves Christmas caroles and one year she was very sad because they were banned from her favorite store.  "How on earth can you ban Christmas music, while selling all of the toys and merchandise that we are prodded to buy? she asked. 

My sister looks for kindness and simple moments of joy giving.  That’s what she feels is the real Christmas.  Yes, she likes the packages and decorations.  But, sometimes all she can give is a trip out to the woods to make her own Christmas wreaths.  Inivitably, the wreath will end up on someone else’s door.

My sister is kind, and thoughtful.  But, living simply means sometimes the only gift she can give is folding a daughter’s laundry, or baking cookies with a grandchild.  When I witness her doing these things I think…”Now there is Christmas.”

I admire my sister greatly.  Of all the people I know, she has taught me that it truely is in the smallest things in life, that one finds the greatest of joys.  She’s taught me to look, all season long, for the simple unexpected kind moments, and when I find them, indeed my heart says, “Now, there’s Christmas”.

 

Peace to this House

  “Year by year the complexities of this spinning world grow more bewildering and so each year we need all the more to seek peace and comfort in the joyful simplicities.”
                                                                                Women’s Home Companion, Dec 1935

Oh, is it Christmas-time already?  I came home exhausted last night after a long, long day and into the middle of my messy end-of-the-week home.  My husband and daughter had proudly purchased and placed a huge, 6-foot pine tree in the corner of the living room amidst the dog fur and dust.  They had drug out the boxes and boxes of ornaments (which I had planned to prune with a fine tooth comb this year) and released from each their immense contents. They had decorated and lit the tree, and the unused matter was now strewn all over the furniture.  They stood happily smiling and reveling in their sense of “surprise, look what we did for you, Mom!” 

Yes, I was surprised.  I tried very hard not to show my disappointment.  I put on a nice face and said, “oh, it’s beautiful you guys…you did such a nice job.”  

You see, we had agreed that we wouldn’t decorate until next weekend.  And when we did decorate, it would be with beautiful simplicity.  We would cut a small tree from our own pine forest, and it would fit just ever so nicely on our country dining table.  We would put just few lights up outside, and this year would be our simplest Christmas ever.

My older children were looking forward to a special and different holiday this time around.  We had agreed that our gifts would be minimal, simple and heartfelt.  What we wanted most - was not only to be together, but to revive the feeling of Christmases long ago, when our gift to each other was to watch Muppet Movies all day long on Christmas day.  We would have a nice simple meal, and we would have just this one day together when we weren’t tending to others.  We would set aside all of the commercial trappings of the holiday season and concentrate on what means most to us.

My husband and I were Children’s Pastors for many, many years.  Our family life sometimes, oftentimes was sacrificed for the needs of the many families we served.  Christmas was the one day each year that we closed the doors, stayed inside and spent time with only each other.  I was so looking forward to closing the door to the outside once again.

I’ve been ever so disturbed, these last few weeks, after the horrible and ridiculous events surrounding Black Friday: pepper spray, grabbing, trampling, shooting and looting…"Is this what Christmas is about???"  I demanded from my family.  NO Big Box Christmas for me this year!  I’ve successfully eluded all of the retail trappings this season so far, and I had set myself firmly on the path to making lovely little gifts that spoke from the heart. I vowed not to purchase a single thing from a department store.  I was ready!!!...That is, until I saw the huge tree with blinking lights sitting in my living room.  Those two smiling faces made me realize that it's not just about my way of thinking that's important, and I'm feeling a little guilty.

Today, I’ve been trying to decide…should I clean the house and finish decorating?  Should I set aside the sewing project I’ve been working on for someone special this week, and just give in to the Retail- Christmas that everyone seems to cherish so much?  Or, should I set aside the decorations, dirt and dust, clutter and dog hair and continue on with my own simplistic view of things, ignoring everyone else. 

This afternoon, I have come to a conclusion: one that makes the simplicity of the holidays just that, simple.  I will seek peace and comfort in my cozy little home, albeit the dust and fur.  I will set aside the sewing project, that was too big anyway, and I will give in to my husband and daughter’s joyful surprise.  Bless their hearts anyway.  I will decorate the rest of the house with beautiful simplicity and I will continue to avoid the Big Box store.  And on Christmas Day?  We will eat a simple meal and watch Muppet Movies…all day long!

Let’s enjoy this wonderful season together…and if you see a big mess coming up to greet you, find a solution, a simple one.  One that brings peace and a little joy (not just to you, but to those blessed little hearts around you too!)  Oh yeah, the pine tree really does smell wonderful!

 Luke 10:5  “Into whatever house you enter, first say, “Peace be to this house.”

Hospitality is NOT an Industry

“I have never met anyone who was offended because I opened my door and  invited him to come in".    - author unknown

I can smell the turkey cooking in my kitchen.  It must be getting close to being done, because my St. Bernard is parked in front of the oven in the hopes that some bit will magically drop into her mouth.  She always does that on holidays.  Only today is not a holiday.  Actually, Thanksgiving was a few days ago.  We spent it, as we usually do, with my husband’s family.  We got to see folks whom we hadn’t seen for years.  It was wonderful.

So why is there a turkey in the oven?  Not only, because my husband loves turkey, but because our neighbors did not celebrate the holiday with the traditional fare.   They ate Salisbury steak in the quiet of the little cabin they share.  Their son lives in a state far away, too far to drive to, and their only daughter passed away a few years ago.   A turkey dinner just seems like too much for them to conquer anymore; and besides they reason, it’s just the two of them.

In our culture, many people equate hospitality with hotels and commerce.  It’s interesting that this age-old practice of opening one’s home to strangers, families and friends is no longer even considered when we talk about offering hospitality.  Webster defines hospitality as “receiving or treating guests or strangers warmly and generously”…when, oh when, did this act become a business? 

My husband and I were foster parents for many; many years…we received and nurtured over 50 children in our home.  None of them came in feeling welcomed; all of them were frightened and worried.  These little ones felt that they didn’t”belong” anywhere.  Somehow our own children and family were able to offer them warmth and acceptance and each of them learned quickly that they were safe and welcomed.

Hospitality is a ministry of encouragement.  My children learned that some people have “yes-faces” and some people have “no-faces.” Yes-faces are ones that offer true hospitality.  It was toward the yes-faces that they gravitated and learned that these were approachable people who could offer friendship, advice and encouragement and yes, sometimes, even hope.  These hospitable people  weren’t afraid to open their hearts and homes to them.  I'm so thankful for this! My children have developed wonderful yes-faces, and as a result are some of the most hospitable people I’ve ever met!

Hospitality begins in the home, yet in the rush of today's modern lifestyle; it’s often one of the last things on our list of priorities. Becoming hospitable refers to our reception and treatment of others.  It does not mean that our houses are furnished with the best that money can buy, or even that it’s the cleanest of clean.  It means that we are comfortable there, and there is room for another’s comfort as well.   Tonight, we will cook a turkey for just a few.  Not because we missed the holiday of Thanks-Giving, but because we want to continue giving thanks today, and maybe offer our friends a little encouragment.

Who Lives Here, Anyway?

“When friends enter a home, they sense its personality and character, the family’s style of living – these elements make a house come alive with a sense of identity, a sense of energy, enthusiasm, and warmth, declaring, “This is who we are; this is how we live.”  - Ralph Lauren

Who lives here, who lives here?  Look around and ask yourself; do the things I see in my surroundings really represent who I believe myself to be?  During the late 1800’s, a philosophy known as the Aesthetic Movement sprang up on both sides of the Atlantic ocean and began to focus on every aspect of Victorian life.  The heart of the movement was “realizing the importance of nurturing the soul through beautiful surroundings.”

Once you’ve cleansed your home of the things that do not represent your true self, the things that ”irritate you”, the things that have no meaning to you, the things you simply step-over; a marvelous thing begins to happen:  You begin to open a doorway for abundance to flow into your heart and home.  Creativity is unleashed.

Ask yourself. What do you feel passionate about?  What things make you smile at the very beauty of them?  Don’t worry that they are not always “practical”…neither are we.  But, do they show forth our own interests and passions?  As you walk from room to room is your soul nurtured?  Are you energized to move out into the world feeling safe and secure, having been nourished with not only beauty but a sense of knowing exactly who you are, what is important to you and what motivates you to participate in the world?

 When friends come to visit do they see your very own personality and style embedded deep within the substance of your home?  If so, then they are embraced, comforted and refreshed when they leave.  If not, they grumble away feeling somehow “irritated.”

Replace the “stuff” in your home with the lovely things that express your own grace and beauty.  In this manner you can begin to understand that you are a valuable person, you have a gift to give the world, and you bring meaning to existence.  You will open yourself up to the abundance of life and spirit that exists on the other side of your walls.

Why Start at Home?

At home… I can be intoxicated with beauty and lose my sadness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a funny thing you ask?  What's the big deal with having a clean and orderly home?  How could that possibly help me find purpose? What's that got to do with anything?

All things of beauty must begin at the beginning.  Certainly an artist can create wonderful masterpieces in his studio...but if in his studio he cannot find a paintbrush then his splendid portraits cannot be painted. 

Home is where hearts are relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated.  It's in our home that we "learn to get in touch with the silence within our self and know that everything in this life has a purpose", stated Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  It takes peace of mind and clarity to recognize and reorder meaningful personal priorities.  The more our lives and attention are segmented; the more we need to identify what is truly important in our lives. 

Carving out a portion of each day for quiet time, prayer, music, contemplation, reading or personal study can be the very antidote we need to the hectic, ad-filled world we live in.  A clean and orderly home can be the very place to find these things.  What good would it be to bring the turmoil of the world in and drop it on the floor; only to try to step over it later?  Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning, or finding the favorite sweater you thought you'd lost hanging in your closet - right where it should be, even finding the car keys quickly can be an unspoken piece to the harmony needed to balance out the frenzied world, beyond our walls.

When we come from a well loved, place of serenity and safety we can expect to move confidently forward in our day with creativity and peace.  We can offer grace and compassion to those we meet who have not a place of respite to return to at day's end.  What joy and comfort we can bring to those around us.  What room we will have to find our real purpose in life with space for more in abundance!

Make Room for Abundance

"In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit.  Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat:  it was a Hobbit-hole, and that means comfort., " - J.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit 

In 1880, William Morris founded the influential Arts and Crafts movement.  Morris crusaded against the cheap and shoddy furniture and decorative accessories being mass-produced and crammed into middle class homes.  Morris urged Victorians to rid themselves of the ugly, useless and uncomfortable.  Instead he favored simple and "honest" furnishings.  Morris said "Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be "useful" and believe to be "beautiful."

Wow!  Doesn't that apply to our lives today as well?  We go to Target, Wal-Mart, Ross, Kohl's and on and on.  All of them offer homogenized patterns of the same items.  We load up on the newest styles and comforts.  Commercials and Ads tell us what we should have in our homes and how to decorate.  They cry "be just like everyone else."  Does any of this represent who you are or who you want to be???

There is a metaphysical law that says if we desire more abundance - we must "create a vacuum" to allow ourselves space to "receive" good things. How can more good come into our lives if there is no room for it?  Luke 6:38 states "Give and it shall be given unto you..." and 6:39 states "For with the same measure that you give - that same measure will be given back to you."  The way we create that "vacuum" is by giving away what we no longer need or desire and "bless others" with it.

We all change as we grow, including our personal style.  There is no shame in simplifying your life and your home!  Rethink what lies around you.  Do these things represent who you are or who you want to be?  Give away the things you no longer need or use.  Say to yourself "have I used this in the last year?'  If not, then give it away.  Say "Do I really like that ugly bowl that Aunt Ruby gave me 30 years ago?" My neighbor admired that bowl...so I put some lovely fresh fruit in it and dropped it by to her as "a gift".  This works with all the clothes and clutter lying around the house.  Every season I look over my closet and ask "do I really like this, does it fit well, and do I ever wear it?"  If not, it goes into a bag and it's off to the Good Will.  Someone else can wear that ridiculous blouse and will love it!

Simplify and bring order to your home by sending the objects you no longer love to people who will genuinely appreciate them.  Open yourself up to receiving an abundance that will perfectly suit you!  Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful and believe is beautiful.  Let your home represent who "you truly are."  Make room and see how abundance will fill your life and home.

Heaven in a Hectic World

Every spirit builds itself a house, and beyond its house a world, and beyond its world a haven.  Know then that very world that exists for you.     – Ralph Waldo Emerson

During the 19^th century the home was viewed as “heaven on earth”, a hallowed haven in an uncertain world.  When man, woman or child crossed the threshold they were safe, “not only from injury”, wrote John Ruskin, “but from all terror, doubt and division”.  

My young son once said, “The whole world stops at my front door and I get to come home and leave it all behind.”

Creating a place of heaven in our hearts and lives allows us a measure of safety from which we can grow beyond our own borders.

Victorian women approached the domestic arts – cooking, decorating, gardening, handicrafts and entertaining, not as burdens, but as a form of personal expression and a means of persuasion.   Traditions that celebrated the joys of home, family life and spirituality acted as the mystical mortar that held bodies and souls together in a tumultuous society that was changing at the speed of light.   Today, we seldom invite others into our homes and lives.  We stop at the surface, never allowing anyone to "get too close".  Why are we so afraid?

“Home is where we start from, “T.S. Elliot observed.  Today, a century after he was born “home” is the place where many souls are longing to return, if not literally, then figuratively. Have you ever stumbled upon a place or even a relationship that says "this is home"? 

The time, energy, and emotion invested daily in the soul-craft of homecaring – carving out a haven for yourself and those dear to you – is a sacred endeavor.  Life holds no more guarantees for us than it did for our Victorian ancestors, yet they faced the future with full hearts, determined to create a lasting work of art: a happy, secure, and beautiful retreat of love and laughter.   Is this not something we wish to do as well?  Would we knowingly withhold these joys from our loved ones?  It's time to start envisioning what gifts you can offer to bring peace in your world.

A Place for Everything

If a home doesn’t make sense, nothing does. – Henrietta Ripperger

My mother used to say “Everything has a place and everything in its place.”  My mother was an incredible homemaker.  I believed that she was so meticulous in her housecleaning that you could eat off her kitchen floor.  And you probably could!  My mother was able to bring peace and order to our very chaotic life.

I used to entertain a lot.  I loved it when a guest would say “it’s so peaceful in your home, can I just stay a while longer?”  As a foster parent of troubled children I became quite used to caseworkers, lawyers and various other people entering our home and  “inspecting it” on a routine basis.  They would often just “stop by” in the month without calling.  In order to keep our home in reasonable order,  I learned it was important to gather information and paperwork in an easily accessible place at the drop of a hat. 

One great invention was a plastic 3 drawer organizer left in the kitchen with each child’s name written on it.  When the children would walk in the door and empty their backpacks full of things that needed attending to (field trip forms, report cards, medical appointments etc. etc.) instead of allowing things to pile up in a humongous jumble, these papers were immediately filed under the child’s name, and the drawer tended to at the end of the week.  Another large plastic bin was placed in each child’s room containing all of their precious art projects and school work, saving for the time they moved on.

Mastering the sacred art and craft of home keeping and creating a place of serenity, security and yes, even sanity for ourselves and our loved ones is far too often undervalued.  Wouldn’t we all love to come home to a place of peaceful refuge?

Remember the old adage: “Cleanliness is next to Godliness?”  Move out into the world with confidence and certainty knowing that our basic needs have been met.  So, how do we accomplish such a task?

Fiigure out what your own standard of living is.  It doesn’t have to be the same as my mother’s, or yours!  Imagine what you would like your home to say to you as you walk in after an exhausting day. Figure out what needs to be done and create a list of short term and long term projects.    Break it down into categories of daily duties, weekly chores, monthly jobs, and seasonal tasks. Choose one day a month to approach one project at a time, without being overwhelmed and bring peace to the existing chaos.

Here are four old fashioned rules you can employ to change the daily quality of your life and free you to pursue the things that really matter to you:

1.      If you take it out, put it back.

2.      If you open it, close it.

3.      If you throw it down, pick it up.

4.      If you take it off, hang it up.

Start with just one thing.  You’ll be amazed at how energizing this can be.  Just imagine what you’ll be able to accomplish if your mind and heart are ordered.

Getting Your House in Order

My life will always have dirty dishes. If this sink can become a place of contemplation, let me learn constancy here.        Guinilla Norris

We dread it, we put it off for as long as possible and even longer yet.  Eventually we have to dig ourselves out.  Many of us approach the unrelenting, repetitive, exhausting, and unproductive work known as housekeeping like it was torture.  Certainly it sometimes feels that way.  Simone de Beauvoir observed “The clean becomes soiled; the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.”  That is, assuming we even get to it daily.  Isn't this true?  Everything from brushing our teeth to straigtening the house must be done over and over and over again.

More than half of American women work outside their home, and many men are now working within their homes alongside their families.  I come from a very strange in-between era of victorian women and modern women.  I've done everything from being a "homemaker" to being a "professional" woman.   They say I'm one of the last of a dying breed, the end of the baby boomer generation.  I have one foot in each generation, solidly, and it's from this position that I offer a little sage advice that might help simplify your endeavors.

We all must tackle household chores long after all the other duties are completed and our energy is depleted.  And we wonder why the soiled stays soiled until we can’t stand it?  We also are expected to keep up our looks, get hair cuts, manicures, pedicures, shop for current styles and gifts and entertain company, all the while taking care of those who depend on us.  How on earth can we get all of this done in a timely and effective method?

Go back to the basics.  Look to the Amish, who lead simple, uncluttered and serene lives.  They seamlessly stitch together life, work and art through the thread of divine order.   Order is what shaped and nurtured every nuance of Shaker life, from their daily schedule of tasks to the way they expressed themselves through their surroundings. Mother Ann Lee instructed her followers that “There is no dirt in heaven.” The Shakers believed that their daily work, including housekeeping, was a personal expression of worship.   Hmmmm.

Prayer and housekeeping go together.  They have always gone together.  How we care for our home is how we live.  When we clean and order our homes, we are somehow also cleaning and ordering ourselves.  Caring for our home is a subtle yet significant expression of our self-esteem.  Look around you.  How’s your self-esteem? 

Your seemingly endless pile of dirty dishes can become your place of meditation and even worship. Every "chore" can be approached in this way.  Consider how caring for our homes really is an expression of our emotional and spiritual lives.  Creating a comfortable, beautiful, well-run home really is among our most satisfying accomplishments.  Indeed, it can even be an illuminating spiritual experience.

The Personality of Your Home

A house is who you are, not who you ought to be.  –Jill Robinson

Houses are not only the physical buildings we reside in, but the very essence of our physical and spiritual bodies.  Like it or not, the personalities of our homes are accurate barometers that reflect, through our surroundings, where we have been, what’s going on in our lives, and who we are – today, this moment – though not necessarily where we’re heading.

Taking steps toward acceptance, blessing our circumstances, and discovering our personal preferences – can jump-start the expression of our authenticity through the way we care for and even decorate our homes.  When we do, the principles of gratitude, simplicity and order will begin to transform the places where we live into havens of comfort and contentment.

Money certainly can help us express ourselves through our surroundings, creating a warm, inviting home that reflects our own personality.  But, it doesn’t have to begin by hiring a life coach, a decorator or pulling out our credit cards or check book.  Be grateful for the home you have, right now, today…knowing that, at this moment, all you have is all you truly need.